Brady puts it best.

Monday, January 14, 2008

What am I?

"I've been trying to find the answer to this question for a long time now, and to be honest it's scaring me to death. because, I don't think there is a concrete answer to this question, and after a few months, I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that I will never have a set of principles to define myself by. Because on a superficial level, my friends will change, my style changes, my possessions change, and on an internal level my thoughts, my emotions and my beliefs will always be in flux, changing on a weekly if not daily basis, this means I have to face the facts that the only way to define me is to say that I am potentiality, possibility in the making. Because I have the potential to be as bad as I want or as good as I want, as motivated as I want or as lazy as I want, to fight or to let go, to laugh or to cry, to love or to hate. I've done all of these things and I will do them all again. So, in short, I can only define myself as a human being, no better or worse than anyone else. I feel like coming to grips with this is tremendously humbling, as well as extremely liberating! Because on one hand, I'm not a special snowflake, but on the other hand now I know that I no longer have to pretend to be a "somebody" because I'll never be better or worse than anyone else, I'm free to make mistakes, live, love, laugh, grow old and die, because that's what it means to be human, and that's all I am."

by Brady Sprunger

i don't know what to feel anymore

i don't know what to feel anymore. there's so many mixed emotions. it's hard to know what's important in life and what's important to me. i need discernment. i need a way of knowing. i've said before that i'm about truth this time. i sometimes feel like i've found it but accepting it is hard. i sometimes think accepting is easy, but truely believing is hard. i wish it was easy as lust. one direction, one target and no questions, just passion and engagement. i wonder if i'll ever have that first love again. is it possible? is nothing really impossibe for him? does love even exist? or is it all just chemical reactions in a world of science? ANSWER ME PLEASE!

2007 is over

well 2007 is over. hopefully so is all the bullshit.... i want this year to be all about truth. all these years playing games became a coping mechanism and distraction of reality. now it's time to grow up and know the what's real and what's not. 2008 will be a year of revelation.

it's over

after 4 years, it's over. no questions and no arguements.

quote

"love is giving someone the power to break your heart and the trust that they won't"

loneliness

i heard somewhere that Buddhist believe suffering is the catalyst for growth. i don't believe in a lot of things, but this makes sense to me. my suffering has always been loneliness. it's been a kind of self-fulfilling prophesy. 'expect it and it'll happen' kinda-thing. loneliness without motivation only leads to more loneliness. it's a not fulfilling life; it's just existing. why exist if participating in life is hard? it's always been dream of mine to just let out of so many barriers and to go on as a new person. finding the way is hard part. which path is right and how do you find it? i guess everyone has there own way. there are so many different kinds of people; it only makes sense for each one to have a different way of defining themselves. i plan on finding my path soon. the right one.

hagamos el amor con la ropa

i need some perreo!!! hagamos el amor con la ropa....siente la pasion de reggae!!!! tratratratratra ;P