i don't know what to feel anymore

i don't know what to feel anymore. there's so many mixed emotions. it's hard to know what's important in life and what's important to me. i need discernment. i need a way of knowing. i've said before that i'm about truth this time. i sometimes feel like i've found it but accepting it is hard. i sometimes think accepting is easy, but truely believing is hard. i wish it was easy as lust. one direction, one target and no questions, just passion and engagement. i wonder if i'll ever have that first love again. is it possible? is nothing really impossibe for him? does love even exist? or is it all just chemical reactions in a world of science? ANSWER ME PLEASE!