Brady puts it best.

Monday, January 14, 2008

What am I?

"I've been trying to find the answer to this question for a long time now, and to be honest it's scaring me to death. because, I don't think there is a concrete answer to this question, and after a few months, I'm finally coming to grips with the fact that I will never have a set of principles to define myself by. Because on a superficial level, my friends will change, my style changes, my possessions change, and on an internal level my thoughts, my emotions and my beliefs will always be in flux, changing on a weekly if not daily basis, this means I have to face the facts that the only way to define me is to say that I am potentiality, possibility in the making. Because I have the potential to be as bad as I want or as good as I want, as motivated as I want or as lazy as I want, to fight or to let go, to laugh or to cry, to love or to hate. I've done all of these things and I will do them all again. So, in short, I can only define myself as a human being, no better or worse than anyone else. I feel like coming to grips with this is tremendously humbling, as well as extremely liberating! Because on one hand, I'm not a special snowflake, but on the other hand now I know that I no longer have to pretend to be a "somebody" because I'll never be better or worse than anyone else, I'm free to make mistakes, live, love, laugh, grow old and die, because that's what it means to be human, and that's all I am."

by Brady Sprunger

i don't know what to feel anymore

i don't know what to feel anymore. there's so many mixed emotions. it's hard to know what's important in life and what's important to me. i need discernment. i need a way of knowing. i've said before that i'm about truth this time. i sometimes feel like i've found it but accepting it is hard. i sometimes think accepting is easy, but truely believing is hard. i wish it was easy as lust. one direction, one target and no questions, just passion and engagement. i wonder if i'll ever have that first love again. is it possible? is nothing really impossibe for him? does love even exist? or is it all just chemical reactions in a world of science? ANSWER ME PLEASE!

2007 is over

well 2007 is over. hopefully so is all the bullshit.... i want this year to be all about truth. all these years playing games became a coping mechanism and distraction of reality. now it's time to grow up and know the what's real and what's not. 2008 will be a year of revelation.