sex dream

i had the weirdest sex dream last night. the whole thing was 5 seconds long, but i know it means a lot. i came out the shower and i was only wearing a towel. i sat down on a hammock with this guy i have a crush on from church. so he starts kissing me and trying to get me into it. i'm liking it, but i'm also resisting. slowly i'm really just letting go. every kiss or touch i start noticing he's physically changing. he eventually turns into my ex! not just any ex; this is my biggest "badboy-i'll fuck you anywhere!" ex!! when i realized it was him, it stopped.

i looked up sex dreams on line. this website, www.dreammoods.com, said the hammock symbolized me pushing people away. also, dreaming about crushes is just dreaming about someone you're attracted to. it also said having with a ex or someone who's not your boyfriend means you want a new relationship and the awkwardness i felt might be the fear of feeling things i felt with that ex. it said my ex might be showing me a path; either to remember the good time i had with that person or the mistakes i made.

over all, i think my dream was telling me i'm terrified to get close to this guy, but i really want to. even if there was a way, i can't make the mistakes from before even if it feels right. i'm pretty sure this won't happen. first because he wouldn't let it happen and secondly i'm still pretty loyal to someone else.